Timur Bekmambetov: Awesome Movie Killer

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is a super, super sweet book and regardless of what you think of the movie, I highly recommend reading it.

I'm going to fuck up the movie riiiiight there. And there and there and there.

I'm sure I was expecting something different from the movie, having read the book. Since the book's author, Seth Grahame-Smith, penned the screenplay, I assumed it would follow a similar, albeit shortened, plot. I also prayed that director Timur Bekmambetov couldn't fuck it up like he did with Wanted, but I was also wrong in that regard.


Because of overall negative reviews, I went in knowing there would be many cheesy, odd parts. Even knowing that, I still feel disappointed. Along with the plot changes, the B-man did what he did with Wanted. I can't fully put it into words but as you're watching the training and fight scenes you just know it's by the same dude. Man, Wanted was so goddamn bad. Still pissed. The screenwriting abilities of Grahame-Smith in adapting his own novel makes me doubt his potential for his work on the Beetlejuice sequel.

For those that aren't familiar with the plot or can't figure it out from the name of the film, this is the hidden history of President Lincoln as a vampire hunter. Basically picture Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code, except less religious. It establishes the real reason for the Civil War as a means of eliminating slaves as pray for the vampire elite of the deep south. The book was so enjoyable because of how much history was involved, but they completely take that aspect out of the film. They also change the sweet ending of the book to something lame for the film. Ugh.

With the exception of one of the McPoyle brothers and Steve the Pirate, the cast is mostly unknowns (Mary Todd is played by the actress that was Bruce Willis's daughter in Live Free or Die Hard, for example).

There are many over-the-top fight scenes that left the audience laughing, but one stood out as super stupid. Lincoln is chasing a vampire on horseback. If you're picturing a scene of two men riding on horses you're totally wrong. It's two men JUMPING ON THE BACKS OF HORSES CHASING EACH OTHER! LIKE RUNNING ON MOVING HORSES IN A STAMPEDE!

There's one other annoying thing I wan to rant about...if the vampires can be invisible, why would they become visible right before they attack? It leaves them dead 100% of the time.

The 3D doesn't really add anything so you can save your money there. If you go in knowing it's going to be goofy (and you haven't read the book) you'll probably enjoy it, but you'll probably want to just save your money.

PS- Bekmambetov's next movie is Wanted 2. FUUUUUUUCK